Fortune cookie

My flight out of LAX leaves in less than 24 hours. Our whole family walked to House of Joy to get 짜장면 for dinner. My fortune cookie said "You will take a pleasant journey to a place far away."

Did you know that the fortune cookie was actually invented by a Japanese-American? I think I read that in some popular culture book on food.

I've laundry to do, charts to write out for auditions, more studying and loose ends to tie up - and all before my flight today! I think I will start by sleeping now.

This will be my last entry, since I will no longer be living in Los Angeles. It's time for the next phase of my life. I love you.

Block Party!

We attended our street block party/potluck yesterday; I made rainbow pasta salad and Jello, yellow cupcakes. Jell stuck closely to me, as we trekked the ten feet across to our front door neighbor's yard, fretting that "we're the only Asian family here!" She continued by observing all of the awkward things that our dad and I were supposedly doing and declared that me looking at the baby and the bunny was creepier than spying (I had previously told her to stop spying on the block party out the window).

My dad was concerned that we didn't bring "food from our culture" and introduced himself by apologizing that my mom didn't have time to prepare bulgogi. On his name tag, he wrote his newly adopted name, Paul. My mom came later, after she got off work. Our neighbor asked her, "So what business is Paul in?" My mom replied... "Who's Paul?"

What I may be doing when I look busy typing...

Tis’ true that he has problems. And wants to mind control. Though I think you are mentally ill, I have to put up with you talking to me at this moment. I try to keep busy typing and typing away so that you get the hint to leave me alone. But your mind has decayed and you are not changing. Please get away from me and leave me alone. Thank you.

hioef hioaeffioehiof hoiahef hiohdf oihoahf hoihaefh oiaehf eho hoihf oaihf iohiohf dhI will not do that because it's your job and you need to do it pleaes go away and stop bothering me. be an adult. mature. grow up. I am trying to ignore you and appear preoccupied. so let me be. Leave me be. bah do dootn buh bah do dah dah bah yah bah duh bah do-n dah bah dah yah buh bah do n dah bah dat. bat boop baba daba do you bwee doh bwee doh bweh doh

In an effort to clean out the freezer, I heated up the mac & cheese that someone left in our fridge, after buying it at a bake sale back in February. The mac & cheese only had slight freezer burn but still, it was not a great idea to eat it. I also made the last of the round individually packaged pizzas and found a hidden 할라봉 귤 flavored 쮸쮸바, which Bean happily consumed.

I wonder if "when I grow up", I'll have a freezer always stocked with several bags of anchovies from my last trip to/someone's last visit from Korea, along with 김. I don't think I'll let anything else stay in the refrigerator for too long... I like to organize thoroughly and regularly.

There are some expressions that don't translate between Korean and English. While in Korea, I used to say to my aunt that something has been just sitting in the fridge, but in Korean. She would always laugh. I've also attempted to use the expression, "his face fell" in Korean, after I saw my dad's face as he saw me walk in through the door, but that didn't quite work either. He was expecting someone else.

I want to clean stuff out, detox and get ready for a new phase of life. I also just remembered that I was supposed to go to the post office to apply for a passport today. But first a nap. I will look back on my two years in LA as a time of many things, including many naps.

One time at the gas station with Eunice, we were talking about a recently engaged couple and another that won't be. Eunice concluded the conversation saying, "Don't people fall in love anymore? I fall in love all the time!"

The sanctity of marriage. My friend thinks her mom married her dad for his green card. I think my friend married because she hit thirty. Or quite possibly (also) because Korean society tells you that you are worthless as a female, unless you are married.

This must be a season for me to learn about love (and irony). My heart is teeming with observations, mostly jaded views, but not without a heaping of hope.

Favor

I took the girls (my baby bean and the three missionary kids) out on Thursday evening to Little Tokyo. We went to Wurstküche to try the exotic sausages, which in retrospect was not a fantastic idea. Even though their website says that kids and grandparents are "absolutely" allowed, I still felt a bit awkward as people at adjacent tables chugged beer, while we, including 9 year old 마음이, sipped water. Plus, none of the kids wanted to try any of the special sausages and I do not like hot dogs . My vegetarian dog tasted like rubber but jello bean raved that hers was the best hot dog ever.

After a visit to MOCA and Yogurtland, we drove through downtown and I gave them a little tour. I hadn't known Los Angeles either when I lived here as a kid, having been shuttled between school, home & church, with the occasional visit to Koreatown. They loved it. Los Angeles truly is a beautiful city. I drove to Pasadena to drop off the girls, and passed our old apartments on Lake Ave. and Los Robles. The whole night, I had this overwhelming sensation that I am extremely blessed and favored. Thank you, Jesus.

Who knew passion tea was such a popular choice?

I've never been the kind of girl to keep a scrapbook of her future wedding. It seems that every time I log onto facebook, a college friend has gotten engaged or is getting married. Today, I thought about it and decided what kind of wedding dress I'd like and what my future spouse's first name might be, among other details. Unfortunately, the particular dress style is probably not the most flattering for my body shape.

I decided to stalk some old flames on facebook. I looked at one profile that doesn't amount to anything more than an ephemeral flicker, then realized that I don't even have old flames I care to look up.

I'm going to a wedding in Big Bear this weekend. I hope they have cake.

And while on this topic, here's a revision of a poem I wrote for my newly engaged friend -

Passion tea, unsweetened
Legs crossed, though my chiropractor told me that’s poor posture
Wondering why people bring little kids to Starbucks…
Why teenagers trickle in after school wearing shorts too short
And are you with child or just with tummy?
Who knew this time would be now?
A gift set of Spam for your new life in Oklahoma
Congratulations, my dear friend.
Who knew passion tea was such a popular choice?

Saudades

Tonight I feel like getting away. I miss Ici & Cheeseboard from Berkeley, my dark tan from São Gabriel da Cachoeira and being in Seoul.

정 - I miss you.
정 - 바를 정 is my name.
As of two days ago, it has officially become one half of my first name.

It was hot outside today. I really like that the first floor of our house stays cool and that crickets continuously chirp through these summer nights.

I also thought to myself today, "I am a middle-class American citizen now." I said that in my head in English.

I am glad that my Amazon bug bites finally have started fading; I wonder if they will eventually become unnoticeable. I hope so, with these scars.

I am looking forward to wearing my jelly shoes tomorrow. I love jelly shoes.

`_´

Isn't it funny that I sing bossa nova? I thought to myself today that some loud rock music, like Papa Roach, would be more fitting for my temperament, than someone like João Gilberto. Is this an appropriate place to say it's ironic?

Remembering that I am angry, made me sad. These swollen eyes will not go well with my smile in the morning.

REAL (sister) TALK

My beloved old phone's screen finally blanked out for good. Playing with my new touchscreen phone, Jello said, "it's weird when old people (like you) have high-tech phones."

I told Eunice I should probably lose about ten pounds to be at the ideal weight for someone my height. She remarked, "but your head is so large!"

Entry from yesterday

One of the things I don’t like is overeating and realizing after the fact, that the food wasn’t even that good. I just fried some rice cake (떡) with sugar, because I felt nostalgic for the treats my mom made when I was really little. By the time I only had about half a dozen left, I was neither hungry nor enjoying them but it was an odd amount to leave so I just finished it. Remind me not to do that again.

Some other things I don’t like
Being late
Being irresponsible/ careless
Meeting slimy people

I did all of the above in the past week. I want to become a person I would like. I can’t do much about slimy people that approach me, but I can discern how to best deal with them.

I won’t always be on my way out
When days evaporate into the clouds
I’ll settle for good with my loves
I wonder if it’ll forever feel like I’m fresh out of the shower
Sitting out on the glade, but never needing sun block

Home

Now that I'm gearing up to leave LA this summer, I realize just how much I love this place. It is after all, my hometown, and full of sunshine and fragrant wind. And I recently thought to myself that I'm finally getting the hang of this driving thing (except parallel parking). I guess I'm more of a So. Cal kind of girl than I thought.

St. Patrick's Day Entries

I spotted a couple people carrying tall banners right outside of Macy's Plaza and curiously walked toward what I perceived to be a mob, until I realized the banners were just ads for eyebrow threading and a new AT&T store. When I was living in Korea a few years ago, protests were not an uncommon sight. It had me excited for a minute.

Then I headed toward a blocked off street where Casey's pub was hosting a St. Patrick's Day show. Lured by a kazoo-like rendition of Shenandoah, I walked behind the stage and ran into another person carrying a banner. He was peering through the quasi-transparent green screen behind the stage, holding a banner that featured a bold red cross and the phrase, "Jesus saves." I kept walking and saw another of the same. If you ever visit Seoul, you'll see the night lit up by red crosses, all over the city.

On my way out from lunch at Harlem Place Cafe, I noticed a blown up image of more people holding banners in the cafe's window - protest signs this time! They read "WE WANT BEER".

---

A familiar woman walked by me during lunch hour downtown today.
A well-groomed, full-bodied woman in makeup and business suit.
The last time I saw her, she was a moderately overweight teen with bushy eyebrows in white tank-top, overall shorts and tennis shoes. In my slip-on sneakers and t-shirt, I didn't know whether to feel young or old. Then I just wondered how wide my hips might appear to an observer. Do I digress?

---

She stocks up on new tupperware
and holds onto once cherished storybooks.
Perhaps she even has money she doesn't have
set aside for the occasion.
In my usual prater, thinking of nothing in particular,
I mention that it seems having a family with two little kids
may be holding back an older friend in her career.She quickly
jumps into say that she could watch my babies,
as long as she is able to stop working full-time.

HUh? baby?
The hints have been becoming less and less subtle. Yes,
I am aware that I am a day over twenty-four and a quarter, 엄마.
But just barely, as it continuously surprises me to announce that number.

And please, there is no need to figure my years in Korean age.

꽃감

When a Korean adult says that a kid is nice (착하다), it means that he/she does not seem to be particularly intelligent. "Though he is not smart," is usually implied in the sentence, "he is nice." I am proud to say that I have never been called a nice kid.

As I write, I am thoroughly enjoying dried persimmon (곶감), even though I know that it is a product of P.R.O.C. (중국산!). I think the Korean market may have intentionally labeled it "Product of P.R.O.C." so that nice kids and adults alike do not realize it is made in China.